If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian.
“They are all okay, and all those things could exist in the same woman. Women shouldn’t be valued because we are strong, or kick-ass, but because we are people.” (x)
walkin thru one of those haunted house things that take your picture at the same time as one of the jump scares
Sidney Crosby gets a breakaway goal on Henrik Lundqvist.
Can we please talk about this performance? It is hands down my favorite performance by Yuzuru. I know that most of tumblr was introduced to him because of this post but I want you all to see just how mesmerizing he can be on the ice. It wasn’t perfect but it was so emotional, powerful, and impacting that even his falls were breathtaking. His performance of Romeo and Juliet at Sochi 2014 doesn’t do him any justice.
Beauty or brains?
Fuck that, it’s not a dichotomy. Let’s not act like mascara glues girls eyes so shut that they can’t read a word of Dickens or solve a trig problem. Let’s talk about how no boy has ever been asked if he’d rather get his Bachelor’s or get married; no boy has ever been told that he’s too handsome to run for office. So why cover up my tits so you can take me seriously?
Beauty or brains? I’ll take ‘em all, thanks.
Slam fuckin’ dunk thank u
The four Bs of success brought to you by my favourite teacher, Miss Kim, in grade 4:
Don’t mess with Gimli
petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’
what about alaska
are we then normal canada
canada a bit to the left
What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?
i cried my ass of laughing
i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD
I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names
You are kidding me.
also that whole tale of aragorn and arwen thing where he saw her in the woods at twenty and fell instantly in love and it’s very beren and luthien? lies.
aragorn decided he was going to marry arwen when he was like, six.
and everyone thought it was just the cutest thing, baby estel with his little crush on the great immortal evenstar, and everyone would tease him about it relentlessly and he would get so mad, and pout, because how dare they doubt his word.
(arwen spent a lot of time biting back smiles and nodding very seriously when aragorn brings this up with her. no, estel, I do not know why they are laughing perhaps they have remembered a particularly funny joke.)
and then aragorn grows into this gangly teen and oh my god can you imagine being a pimply greasy teenager around fucking elves it’s a wonder he has any self-image left. His voice breaks every other word and the laundresses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the sheets because estel keeps washing them himself and aragorn wants to die, god, arwen is never going to marry him if he stays all elbows and skinny knees and he can’t even look her in the eye anymore without blushing, eye contact is probably something to look for in a husband—
(arwen, who never had to go through puberty because elves don’t do anything so undignified, tries to comfort him by saying she likes his blemishes. aragorn gives her a look of such utter, miserable despair that she starts laughing.)
(this is a mistake. he spends the next three weeks nursing his wounded ego and refusing to see her.)
estel is twenty when he asks for her hand. he is lean, slender and fair as a new tree, and so arwen does not feel guilt in kissing his cheek and gently refusing. he is still green, he will weather greater storms than this—and he takes it as he should, clasping her hand and swearing to ever be her loyal friend.
they write to each other—when she is in lorien, when he wanders with the rangers of the north, fights alongside gondor, travels to distant lands. it is an inconstant tie—he is rarely afforded time enough to put pen to paper; she is reserved so as not to encourage what may not be. (she signs her letters always, your friend. She likes him too well to be cruel in this.)
the years pass. his weariness and strife creeps onto the page, and she sends him tokens to fend off the darkness—leaves from lothlorien, the ribbon from her hair, snippets of poems. it is not enough it is never enough I am sorry, she writes.
his reply is gentle: you are enough. do not stop writing.
(she carries that letter tucked inside her sleeve for a long while, like a talisman—though against what evil, she does not know.)
she is in the house of her grandmother when a familiar voice calls out to her: my lady luthien!
this is when arwen looks up, sees aragorn—broad of chest and rugged, still wearing his battered mail, with one hand balanced lazily on the pommel of his sword. All the trees of caras galadhon are gold but he is shadow and silver, kingliness resting lightly on his shoulders—
and arwen thinks, oh fuck
so to recap Mrs Hudson
- ran a drug cartel
- was a stripper
- ships johnlock
- blazes it
- is my hero
THESE VIDEOS THO
I don’t know what’s more adorable
the cats themselves
or the voiceover
MY BROTHER TRIED TO MAKE RICE IN A POT AND ENDED UP BURNING EVERYTHING AND NOW IT’S JUST THIS YELLOW MASS OF ROCK-HARD MATTER AND WE COULDN’T EVEN OPEN THE POT FOR THE FIRST TEN MINUTES BECAUSE SMOKE WOULD TRIGGER THE ALARMS AND THE POT WOULD RELEASE THE SOUND OF A TRAIN WHISTLE
"WHY DID YOU NOT USE THE RICE COOKER?" I ASKED
"I DON’T KNOW," HE RESPONDED
WE HAVE EVERY FAN IN THE HOUSE TURNED ON AND YET EVERYTHING STILL SMELLS LIKE THE INDUSTRIAL AGE, MY BROTHER HAS STARTED BREATHING THROUGH A BLANKET AND MAKING TERRIBLE JOKES LIKE “I FAILED TO RICE TO THE OCCASION” I’M SO BELLIGERENT
Tumblr user rantingallday sighed in contentment, reclining in their seat. They clicked “reblog” with their left hand, their right hand having been stuck firmly inside their asshole after an unfortunate masturbatory experiment in the sixth grade.
"Asians," they thought with a chuckle. "And rice. Am I funny or what?"
Adjusting themselves in their chair to better accompany the fist in their sphincter, they used their free hand to caress a poster of Seth Green mounted on the wall of their mother’s basement.
"Perhaps now… Perhaps now he will love me…"