SAM/CLINT DUKING IT OUT OVER WHO'S THE BEST BIRD
The pattern starts forming: after the big missions, the normal humans on the team tend to have shit to do in the medical floor Stark made for the Tower. And they tend to have to stay there a while.
It’s not like it’s on purpose or something anyone is conscious of, but the Steve Rogers and Bruce Banners of the world basically can shake off the gaping intestinal wound and finish watching the film they’d had on pause since being called out to fight aliens. The Clint Bartons and Sam Wilsons, on the other hand, have to wait for neck braces and dislocated shoulders to be fixed.
The first time it happens, Barton just nods to Sam and sits in stony silence for the twenty minutes it takes a nurse to bandage all the abrasions on his arms—arms which, of course, he hadn’t bothered to even clothe let alone wear significant kevlar protection. Sam’s got a pretty significant gouge out of his left shoulder so he’s not entirely up for conversation either.
The second time, Sam’s there because one of his own wings erupted and is sort of stuck in his back. Barton’s there because he fell badly and something’s wrong with his right foot.
"Taking the bird thing a bit literally," he says after a half hour.
Sam blinks. He honestly thought they weren’t ever going to talk.
"Fuck you and the bow and arrow you rode in on," he says.
Somehow, that makes Barton grin.
The third time, Barton’s whole left side is covered in burns and Sam’s just got a sprained wrist but he’s in no rush because clearly every doctor in the entire building so be dealing with the dude whose left side is entirely covered in burns.
"You get that I’m the one with the wings, right?” Sam says.
Barton grunts but it’s sort of a quizzical grunt so Sam continues.
"I mean, of the birds on this team," he says. "Let’s count how many of us should actually be jumping off cliffs into pits of fire."
Barton huffs a laugh.
"Because one of us earned their bird name," Sam says. "And the other’s all talk."
"Your face is all talk," Barton says, his voice gravelly and strained.
"Yeah, but my face can fly.”
The fourth time, they have matching bullet wounds. Nobody says anything and the machines just keep beeping quietly.
The fifth time, Barton’s jaw is broken so Sam takes the opportunity to explain how if he wanted to pick a bird based purely on eyesight, there are better options than a hawk. Falcons, for example. Super good eyesight.
The sixth time, it’s clear Barton—Clint, he corrects when Sam says it out loud—has been watching some Planet Earth. Sam decide’s to call him “Cooper’s Hawk” for a while.
"The male is smaller than the female," he explains. "Seemed appropriate."
"Fuck you,” Clint says, grinning.
but fic where Bucky hates his metal arm, hates everything it stands for and everything it represents, and maybe most of all hates that when Steve’s hands are on it he can tell how strong they are and their exact temperature, but he can’t feel the soft skin or the warmth they radiate. He thinks maybe it’s his punishment for everything he’s done that only half of him can feel Steve.
so several weeks after Bucky’s sorted his shit out, Steve takes him to meet Tony, who develops an advanced new prosthetic arm that looks and, more importantly, feels like a normal arm. It relays 100% of the sensory information directly to Bucky’s brain and it’s like he was never missing an arm at all. he’s so amazed and so excited that he takes Steve’s face in his hands, because now he can feel everything.
and then Bucky’s just standing there looking at Steve with Steve’s face in his hands — hands that are now meant for touching instead of destroying — and Steve is looking at him like he always does — proud, grateful, happy, and all those other things Bucky will never deserve even if he spends the rest of his life doing good — and it just makes sense that the next step would be using his new arm to pull Steve in and kiss him.
Steve kisses him back like this is all he’s ever wanted and Bucky definitely doesn’t fucking deserve that, but he’s always been a kind of a selfish prick so he’ll take it, he’ll take it all.
Stark whistles loudly, cat calls, and Bucky grabs the nearest power tool and is pleased to learn that he still has the same perfect aim.
Peggy is the one to get stuck in ice in and survive the century. Pepper doesn’t get rid of Extremis and becomes Rescue. Bruce Banner stays under the radar leaving Betty as the authority in gamma radiation. Jane retains some of the Aether’s powers. Thor is busy ruling Asgard, therefore Sif is the one tasked to retrieve the Tesseract. Director Fury rounds them all up along with Black Widow for his Avengers Initiative and, Barton being compromised, Maria Hill steps up as the marksman of the team.
tldr; the ladies save the world instead
So what have you been up to since New York?
Marvel’s greatest extras.
what if age of ultron is like introducing wanda and pietro and it’s like
"the maximoff twins are mu[cut to another scene]"
and then later there’s a fighting and someone goes
"oh god she’s a m[LOUD EXPLOSIONS]"
and then in the aftermath someone’s like
"so you guys are [CAR HORN]ts huh?"
and it just keeps going through the whole movie
good christ steve your face
Get your fucking hand off my shoulder before I star Spangle beat the shit outta you
I star Spangle beat the shit outta you
Ok but I’ve always wondered in the solo movies of the Avengers, what the hell everyone else is doing in the meantime
Like during Iron Man 3 are Clint, Bruce, Natasha and Steve just like eating popcorn? Thor 2 they’re just, naaaaaah, looks like Big Guy’s got it?
Tony’s watching this shit go down with SHIELD and he’s just
"hey pepper, look fast, STEVE’S ON TV!"
tbh the best marvel headcanon i’ve ever imagined is steve and bucky being giant disney nerds back in the day when there were like 4 disney movies in existence and so then when they’re reunited steve’s like guess what happened when i was in an iceberg and you were a super assassin a frickton of disney movies that’s what and they have a massive disney marathon in the screening room of stark tower that goes on for like a week and they end up singing everything at the top of their lungs and completely out of key and the rest of the avengers are just like i s2g if those two ancient losers start belting out at last i see the light one more time i will lose my fucking mind
steve and bucky making up random stories from their past and convincing the other avengers that it actually happened (◡‿◡✿)
And here’s how it went. No spoilers.
RDJ: Hello, I’m awesome. This is not news.
Evans: Well, my lead-in movie was sort of the best one, so you knew there’d be awesome.
Hemsworth: I am mysteriously back even though they said it was impossible and also, am awesome.
ScarJo: You guys have been waiting for more of my awesome since Iron Man II. Here is it!
Renner: Bringing the dramatic cred, veiny arms and awesome, as you knew I would.
Hiddles: The Internet loves me, and you knew I’d be crazily awesome.
Ruffalo: CASUALLY STROLLING IN AND STEALING YOUR MOVIE HA HA HA HA HA IT’S THE RUFF OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE EAT IT YOU BITCHES I WASN’T EVEN IN ANY OF THE LEAD-IN MOVIES HA HA HA HA HA