can we talk about how they’re sitting around with beer and take-out chinese but there are fucking candles lit like they don’t want to ruin the ambiance of this fine dining experience and Rhodey and Tony have the nerve to be dressed the fuck up in suits with ties for this shit
Cap visits a school assembly and they have him lead the pledge of allegiance but "under God" wasn't added until he went under the ice so he doesn't know that part so he doesn't say it and the next day all the headlines say "CAPTAIN AMERICA FORGETS GOD" and FoxNews freaks out.
oh my god
#fox news: captain america’s anti-god communist agenda #fox news: why does cap hate god? #fox news: cap has been henpecked by the left #media matters reports on facts regarding the pledge and the use of ‘under god’ #rachel maddow facepalms greatly and invites cap onto the show #fox news runs segment about captain america being bought by the leftist media like rachel maddow #which then gets mocked on tds #where jon stewart wants to know what hawkeye thinks about the national anthem and then says #oh right #no one cares about hawkeye
Training session that consists of Clint beating everyone at dodgeball
I enjoy this
he nails natasha in the head and everybody freezes in terror
they have to coax him down from the rafters hours later
"it’s ok, she’s gone"
"NO SHE ISN’T SHE’S JUST WAITING"
Gangsta Avengers AU
Wherein the avengers are a secret vigilante group that eventually find each other and go after criminals the hard way.
the avengers all have shirts that say “if lost please return to nick fury” and fury has a shirt that says “i’m nick fury - for fuck’s sake just give them to phil” and phil has the “i am phil” shirt
you go, clint
"Rhodey’s not an Avenger."
Tony Stark: *Smashes through the wall in his iron man armor and breaks a bunch of shit* I HEARD YOU THOUGHT RHODEY WASN’T AN AVENGER!!
Clint Barton: *slides through the hole in the wall on a wire and kicks over more shit then shoots some arrows into their bed* I HEARD YOU TALKING TRASH ABOUT RHODEY!!
Steve Rogers: *flips through a window, throwing his shield through all the other windows in the room, glass flying everywhere and lands perfectly then catches his shield* I HEARD YOU TELLING LIES ABOUT MR. RHODES!
Sam Wilson: *flies by then crashes through the roof* I HEARD YOU DON’T LIKE MY AIR FORCE VETERANS!
Yes, the world is a vulnerable place and yes, we help make it that way. But we’re also the ones best qualified to defend it.
#this is a buildup to civil war this has to be a buildup to civil war#marvel keeps coming back to this- has to keep coming back to this#and can’t ever find a satisfying solution#there’s the tony/natasha ‘you won’t arrest us bc we’re doing a better job than the world’s police’#which isn’t morally sustainable!#it’s an argument for privatized vigilantism!#you have the steve rogers solution which is: work for the gov’t#but that doesn’t even work for steve himself- the gov’t isn’t any more trustworthy than your own enemy#and the third piece of the puzzle is thor#and the marvelverse responds to thor with:#we have to build weapons to fight him#how is the mcu supposed to deal with the problem of superheroes?#libertarian privatization? totalitarian absorption into a corrupt government institution? or destruction?#it has to be addressed and it has to be explored and IT HAS TO BE CIVIL WAR and it’s going to be incredible (swanjolras)
#yeah no#it’s not going to be civil war#who would be on the other side?#it’s already clear that mcu tony would NEVER be on the side of registration#and mcu steve wouldn’t either#in fact I’m not sure if ANY of the mcu heroes would be on the side of registration#they’ve all been shown to distrust the gov’t too much#no#what I think we’re building up to is a retcon of civil war#a civil war not between the heroes#not between those for or against a law#but the heroes against the PEOPLE#because that’s how civil war started#it started because the people weren’t sure if heroes could be trusted anymore#so mcu is heading in a direction that in the comics led to civil war#but in the mcu?#it’s going to end up in a very different place#it won’t end with heroes fighting heroes over whether to work for the gov’t#it will be heroes hiding from the gov’t and from the people they’re trying to protect#all of the heroes will end up like the secret avengers in civil war
Please consider: a Brooklyn Nine Nine/MCU crossover in which Brooklyn Natives Steve and Bucky (and probably also Sam despite not being a Brooklyn-ite) visit the 99 for some sort of PR thing.
wow i was not expecting need of this to grab my heart and squeeze it in quite so dramatic a fashion
santiago and peralta both being old-school from-childhood captain america fans and falling over/fighting/one-upping each other trying to impress him while steve, used to the avengers, fixes his eyes on the middle distance and actively ignores their antics by asking about their arrest rates and the monthly crimes statistics. steve eventually getting too exasperated to continue and instead bonding with terry about art and their shared overactive metabolism issues while peralta and santiago hiss at each other about whose fault it is that captain america doesn’t like them
boyle immediately deciding bucky is his favorite/new best friend and plopping down in a chair next to him and being like, here have some delicious pie! bucky staring at him balefully and kind of trying to edge away when boyle just beams in response to the full Winter Soldier Glare, instead of pissing himself while trying to fuck off as quickly as possible, like any normal would. bucky eventually eating the pie and very quietly being like, “goddamn, this is really good pie”
rosa and sam making eyes at each other from across the room during the press junket thingy, and rosa coming up to sam after and being like, “hey. i like the shape of your ass. take me to dinner,” and sam laughing and being like, “hell no, not if you’re going to ask me like that, a guy needs a little romance,” and rosa being like, “i hate romance,” and sam being like, “then i guess you’re going to have to kiss my ass goodbye,” and the entire exchange ending in a long-term relationship in which both of them are deeply fulfilled
sTEVE AND HOLT SHUTTING THEMSELVES IN HOLT’S OFFICE BECAUSE STEVE’S THINKING OF COMING OUT & WANTS HOLT’S ADVICE
BUCKY AND GINA NAPPING TOGETHER BECAUSE GINA WAS LIKE, I’LL SHARE MY NAP BLANKET WITH YOU IF YOU’LL PLATONICALLY HOLD ME IN YOUR BIG STRONG ARMS HASHTAG CUDDLEBEAR, AND BUCKY WAS LIKE, FINE
SAM AND TERRY GOING TO A BAR AND BUYING EACH OTHER SHOTS FOR HAVING TO BE THE ONLY SANE PERSON ON A TEAM FULL OF LUNATICS
IT. WOULD. BE. SO. AMAZING!!!!!
civil war mcu: the world is devastated after the government wants the… like… 7 heroes to register. Death. Chaos. Madness.
"We can’t let them reveal our secret identities. It would be wrong."
"We don’t have secret identities. You’ve been famous since 1943, I literally landed in the armor at a convention named after myself while surrounded by Iron Man themed dancers, Thor is just Thor, and everyone else’s identity was leaked by Natasha, thank you so much."
"How will this affect the m—"
"I don’t know, there was a word on the tip of my tongue but I forgot it."
could you write something where bucky can pick up thor's hammer please? thanks!
"Here, you dropped this," Bucky says, holding out the hammer.
The room goes deathly silent, all eyes trained on him. ”How are you doing that?” Tony says, the first to break, looking around from face to face wildly. ”How are you - how is he doing that?”
"Uh," says Bucky. He looks down. He’s not even holding it with the metal hand. "With my hand?"
Thor starts advancing on him, and Bucky falls back a step, but not before he sets the hammer gingerly on the ground. Sam, as Steve is not present, steps cleanly between the two, hands raised in a placating gesture. ”Look, if he’s broken some sort of Asgardian thing, some sort of tradition or law with other people’s weapons, you can’t be mad at him, I’ve done it too,” he says, bends down, and picks up the hammer. It isn’t even that heavy. ”See? And Steve moves it when he’s cleaning, I’ve seen him do it.
Thor stops in his tracks, and is suddenly laughing so hard he has to support his weight on his knees. ”What?” Bucky asks. ”What’s so funny?”
In the background, Tony kicks the wall and swears.
The Avengers: Age of Ultron (Official Teaser)